Let me start by saying, I love my life, I love my body and I love how both yoga and acting make us aware of the ways in which we can change, accept, and love more. And then there is this...
Returning to the entertainment biz has come along with a level of self-acceptance (along with self-judgment), as well as all the other challenges and joys. It really does bring to the forefront things that I previously was LESS aware of. So, I've made a list. A list of things I will stop judging about myself (eventually). Because self-acceptance is a beautiful (and necessary) thing!
1) My dancer feet. Pedicures are pointless. These 30 year old calluses are NEVER going away. And you know what? I don't really want them to. Oh, and sometimes I get corns.
2) My large hips and thighs. These thighs are strong. They've been getting stronger since I entered my 30's. I no longer feel like I'm walking on stilts. Fuck the pants that make them feel "thick." I prefer stretch jeans and yoga pants anyway.
3) The fact it takes a lot longer to work off the muffin top and a lot LESS time to bring it back. This one is a happy medium. I like feeling healthy, but obsessing is not healthy.
4) My "lioness" nose. My nose is a very non-European, non-pointy nose. It is broad and flat shaped. This comes from my Native American roots, which also gives me olive colored skin, the ability to tan quickly, and a low tolerance to alcohol. I was once told (by a very mean casting director in L.A.) that this caused me to "look weird on film." The 19 year old me remembers that still, but I choose to accept my "weird nose." Onward!
5) The fact that I do not care about fashion, don't wear make-up unless I'm auditioning or on stage/camera and have absolutely no idea how to style my hair. This is a tough one, but it's really okay not to be "made up" 100% of the time., especially if I'm just walking my dog or teaching a yoga class. And besides, there are experts for hair and make-up and wardrobe, right? :-)
6) The fact that I love raw truth, dirt, grime, sarcasm, curse words, and making fun of absolutely everything (including myself). Despite (or because of?) my Disney and commercial upbringing, I have a skewed view of the world. And I'm getting less ashamed to admit that. Because I admire others "telling it like it is." I want to start doing the same, while not losing my seemingly paradoxical eternal optimism.
I hope this inspires you to make your own list! Tell your truth! Live your life, in all it's raw beauty and grime. You are fucking fantastic, just the way you are. Which doesn't mean you can't change, just that you are human! And THAT is pretty fucking special.
Yours in truth,